Nothing is wasted

Sometimes a dose of reality is good for you. I got one alright and it smacked me right in the face! A couple weeks ago I was sitting at our staff meeting,  as I do every single Tuesday, but it was not like a normal meeting. We have a couple girls completing KTIP and their leadership project was to do a presentation in an area that they were an expert in. One of the girls is our FMD teacher and works with children who have severe handicaps. Of course I was sitting there obsessing over everything going on with Addison, playing the  "WHY ME" card and feeling sorry for myself when she brought a group of women in front of the staff to have a question and answer session about working with students with severe mental and physical handicaps. One of them was our special education teacher, another a regular education teacher who she collabs with, a special education assistant and then a parent who has a child with mental disabilities. They start talking and go through each person. They talk about their experiences, give tips for working with these children and I was really enjoying the suggestions. Then we get to the woman who has a son with handicaps. She starts talking about her son and the struggles they have faced. It was a very interesting story for sure. Then she started talking about how difficult it can be at times. How her son has never been invited to a birthday party. How her son had a birthday party and no one came. He's never had a friend invite him to a baseball game, etc. etc. etc. I lost it. Reality smacked me in the face pretty good. How in the world can I whine and complain about my baby getting a shot everyday when she has a son who can't do many things Addison is already doing and he's 11? She is going to be completely fine with this shot. She will have friends, sleepovers, play sports, have tea parties and lemonade sales in the summer. I will probably run her all over God's creation to friend's houses if she is as social as we think she's going to be. She will grow up and get married, have a job and a family of her own. I was ashamed. Here sat a woman who was sharing the struggles her son and family face on a daily basis to raise a son with these types of disabilities and I was "playing my fiddle" 5 minutes before because my baby needs a shot to help regulate the amount of protein in her body. I tried not to lose it too bad, but I couldn't help but get upset. There's a song on KLOVE and the line says," It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down." Exactly. There was my little ray of sun right there. Yes, I am allowed to be upset about everything Addison has been through, but it's going to be ok. She is going to be fine. My baby is going to be ok.

Then another big dose of reality got me after I got in the car that afternoon. I turned on the car and the radio is set to my favorite...KLOVE. They started playing a new song that I had never heard before. I listened and the song pretty much says the same thing over and over again. NOTHING IS WASTED. NOTHING IS WASTED. Could God say what he needed to say to me any louder. The past couple of months, the hardships, the stress, the bills, the late nights, the worry, none of it is going to be wasted. It's all part of his plan. He is going to use Addison and our family in a big way. I felt a lot of comfort listening to that song. Of course I've asked God why a million times....you know, why does it have to be my baby?! It was like he was telling me that it's ok. This is all part of the plan and it is going to be used in a great way. It's not for nothing.

My prayer now it that God will help me see how he is using Addison and our family. Are people praying more? Are we leaning on him like we should be? I pray he'll reveal his plan to me.

You know the saying and the song, "It is well with my soul?" Well friends, it is well with my soul. Things are going to be ok. Addison is doing great and my soul is at peace.